Kindness of Strangers

The phrase "kindness of strangers" was first used by Tennessee Williams in his 1947 Pulizer-winning play, A Streetcar Named Desire. The saying has been used multiple times in songs and stories since then, and it evokes an unselfish generosity that seems to be channeled through people from a divine source.

The kindness of strangers has been a saving grace for me throughout my life. There always seems to be a few perceptive souls around who notice if I seem to be lost or struggling, and offer assistance.

As a child, I remember my trepidations when starting a new school. "This place is so big! There are so many people! I feel so lost!" A kind student or staff member would notice my hesitancy and gift me with a kind word or smile, letting me know I had a friend to share that moment.

At the age of 19, I made a “Jack Kerouac”-style year-long solo European ramble, getting myself into tight spots regularly. Usually a kind person would step up out of nowhere to help me out. It could be something as simple as someone stopping to give me directions, or something as extreme as the fellow who sucked gasoline through a hose to transfer to a small portable gas tank when I ran out of petrol on an Italian highway!

With the profusion of scam artists, people may be tempted to not be kind when a stranger asks for assistance, thinking it is a set-up. How many times have you driven past those people holding cardboard signs at intersections without stopping to give spare change? Sometimes it could be a trick, but going with your gut feeling helps guide you in handling situations. But if you have a general attitude of suspicion towards people, you are missing opportunities to grow as a person, and just feel good about helping others.

It would be great to pitch in on a group effort on a grand scale, such as when hurricanes, tornadoes and floods hit an area, and join with the hundreds of Red Cross and Salvation Army volunteers who travel across the country to search for victims, distribute food, or administer medical care.

Last summer while walking to the library near our house I passed a man holding a cardboard sign that said, "Will work for food." On the way back from the library I stopped and asked him if he would do yard work for me in exchange for food. Without hesitation he nodded, folded up his sign, put it in his pocket and started walking home with me. Tony was grateful for the opportunity, and, I learned, very hard-working. He come to our house nearly every day for about three weeks, weeding, trimming bushes, cutting back scrub trees.

Each day I would give him a sack of food and a twenty dollar bill. Tony said he had worked nearly 30 years for the suburb of Brooklyn Park, who then hired a young man to take his place and fired him, leaving him homeless. I called St. Stephens Outreach Services, who sent two social workers to our house to interview him. The next day they gave him a tent so he would have better shelter at his campsite near the river. The homeless shelters were overcrowded, so this was a stop-gap solution. Aiding someone in this way felt more effective than giving money to a charity, as I could directly impact someone in need with food and friendship. Also, none of the money I gave Tony was siphoned off for "administrative costs."

What inspires strangers to be kind to people they do not know? I think it is the idea of “paying it forward” and “what comes around goes around.” We can empathize with people and the situations they find themselves in, and want to make their paths easier. We hope that others will do the same for us when we find ourselves stuck in a jam!