I can barely believe that two days ago I turned 55! Double nickels! While not as impressive a milestone as 60, at least Salvation
Army stores believe it’s an important enough age to give me a senior discount. In
some Native American tribes, “elders” are people 50 or older. I feel
like I am lurching into the “older generation” while remembering clearly being
an up-and-coming 20-something.
Having been alive on this earth for more than half a
century, many experiences inform my decisions. In contrast, my
20-something self only imagined many of these experiences!
How are things are different for me now than they were 30
years ago? From a physical standpoint, my body doesn't rebound as quickly. Take
snow sledding: as a kid, I could sled down a hill over and over, and all of the
bumps just added to the fun! Now if I hit a bump, I wince and begin anxiously
scanning for bumps further down the hill. There are the usual tell-tale signs
that everyone talks about: a few gray hairs, slow-healing blemishes, lines
creeping onto my face, hot flashes that make my torso heat up like an Easy-Bake
oven.
From a social standpoint, I don't care to go out as much. At
age 20, I loved "going clubbing" -- wearing tight, revealing clothes, high
heels, makeup, drinking, flirting and dancing all night. Today that seems
like a waste of time. Maybe it is because I am married, have three kids and have a
mom with dementia. I would much rather make a cup of tea and read a chapter in a good book,
do home projects, or visit with my mom. I think part of it is that I am not
trying to prove that I am attractive. Another part is by a philosophy that
frugality will lead to prosperity, making cover charges seem silly. At the many business
trainings I have attended I learned about opportunity cost: with those two
hours you sat in the bar, you could have read a financial book and turned that
advice into a multi-million dollar enterprise!
Today I have a better sense for
which weaknesses advertisers are playing to, so I can make conscious decisions
not to respond. This has not always been the case! In the past, I was more prone to fall for advertising luring me to be self-conscious, or making me believe that buying a certain product would make me popular.
My kids have criticized me for being too “nose to the
grindstone,” never wanting to just hang out with them and play a game, but
always working on a project or going somewhere. I think it has to
do with wanting to be prepared.
I feel like the younger generation spends too much time on
their smartphones and tablets, but as
I was growing up, kids my age would watch too much TV, so the technology has just
gotten more sophisticated. With my kids, I feel like they use technology to
keep me from asking prying questions or ask them to do a chore. But just when I think they have totally written me off, they will ask me a question or we will have a great conversation, and then I am glad: the parent-child
tie hasn’t actually been severed!
At age 10 or 20, adults would ask me what I wanted to be when
I grew up, or what I planned to do with my newly minted college degree. Statistically, I
had 60 or 70 years of life ahead of me, and would have much more time to work on
skills and make dreams a reality. I often found those questions annoying,
although I usually answered politely. Nobody asks me those types of questions
now, thank goodness!
Most people already know what I do and what I like, so it is
more a matter of calling me up and proposing a project or asking me out for coffee. I have traveled the
world, earned a college degree, worked for companies, a university, and myself,
been married 26 years, raised three children, care for my aging mother, stay
fit, and more, demonstrating I am able to set and accomplish goals.
It
is a trip to have one kid a college graduate and launching his career, one in
college and one in high school. It is an experience that cannot be bought, but must
be earned by living through it. When I see parents with babies in strollers, I
think, "Man, that seems like a million years ago!”
Beyond these accomplishments on the physical plane, there is my spiritual journey.
I grew up attending private religious schools, but felt out-of-place in
traditional churches. I disliked how pastors acted as though they are
the gatekeepers to God, and in order to connect to God you had to be in church with the pastor up in the pulpit. And why can I only contact God on Sundays? Adding to my annoyance was being constantly asked to donate
money. I started exploring other spiritual avenues. I found a
set of cassette tapes at the library on how to meditate, and to this day I
start each day with meditation. I also devote some time each day to journaling,
which allows me to make sense of experiences and see patterns. My cousin Suzanne gave me a gratitude journal, which I have started writing in daily.
Through these methods, I feel that I can directly contact Great Spirit or Source
Energy in order to become centered and finding meaning.
My experiences set me apart from someone 30 years younger
because they inform my day-to-day decision making. Because of what I have seen
and done I feel sure myself, and am no longer exploring all types of
experiences so I can decide what I like and want to do. Rather than seek
hedonism and escape, I seek ways to connect, to help others make their goals
happen. There is always something to share – whether it is your knowledge or even just
a smile – to brighten someone’s day and help them along. Let me hear from some
of you who have passed the magical 50-year milestone. What makes you a
different person today than when you were 20?
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